I asked Charlie what he thought would be some of the best ways to keep a marriage alive. After living together, couples can get complacent and that breeds contempt
as I understand it. Charlie admits that he had not really followed all the advice in his marriages that was given to him after his divorces. Charlie said that what
he did when he found a couple who were together for over 20 years, was to ask them their secret of how they stayed together for so long.
One lady said, "Suffered with the creep so long and now I should give him a divorce and make him happy!!!"
Another lady said what they do is to go out for dinner once a week so that they are both away from home and have a dinner together. They would try restaraunts all
over the city and return to their favorite ones from time to time.
Another response from a couple was camping and traveling. They would try and go camping every weekend and plan some nice road trips to look forward to. It seems
like having some common interest does help.
Charlie said another idea that came up was to bring her flowers out of the blue with no special occasion happening. Stick an I love you note in with her lunch as
she headed off to work or attach it to her key ring so that she would see it and be reminded of how her man feels about his woman.
Another area that Charlie mentioned was the area of communication with your partner. And in general good communication goes a long ways so that there are no
misunderstandings.
Don't let the sun go down until you resolved a conflict of the day. Don't try and put an arguement off for tomorrow. Go to sleep in peace knowing that all is well.
It seemed that another theory was to note that both of you are individuals as well and giving each other some space now and then can be a good thing. It allows each
partner to grow and enjoy some interests of life that their partners are not neccessarily interested in. Spending some time apart can make the heart grow fonder and
each partner has some time to build up to prepare for another honeymoon cycle once they are together again. This can happen naturally by partners happening to work
different work shifts or an odd time, they do a separate vacation maybe to visit family.
Another couple were big on setting some goals together so you are on the same page and you move forward together throughout life.
One fellow told Charlie that an area to be together on is finances. He and his wife would budget and have a cash flow system. His idea was to spend less than they
earn so that there would always be money.
While Charlie said that all this advice was likely too late for him now, but perhaps someone reading the book will be able to make good use of it in their
relationship.
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