As time went on, Charlie's wife did not love him anymore and told him a number times of her thoughts on that. So now Charlie was in a loveless marriage. I can't
even imagine Charlie carrying all of those thoughts that were in his mind. Charlie said that his wife thought nothing of him and everything done was all about the
kids. As time passed, Charlie stayed with his cold and unaffectionate wife as the boys grew older. Charlie was a big fat zero just there to bring in the money. She
filled the closet full of ammo to use on Charlie time and time again. Remember that time when...? etc. as she brought up something that he did in the past to tick
her off. She seem to question him in a way that if you answered a yes or a no, you are wrong and will get yelled at. She was always looking for a fight. It was not
a win win situation. She was very unhappy and was taking it out on Charlie even though he tried his best to make her happy, he couldn't no matter how hard he tried.
Charlie could not figure this out as it made no sense when you go out of your way to try and please your partner, they just get more infuriated. Why?
Let us jump into the future for a moment as Charlie looks back on this situation that had him so stumped at the time. Then like a bolt of lightning coming out of the
sky and smacking him in the head, he had his answer. You see that his wife was unhappy, she found the soulmate and love of her life, but she was married to Charlie
which was the problem for her. She had to in her mind make Charlie out to be such a bad person so that anyone in her situation should leave Charlie, but when Charlie
tried to please in every way he possibly could, he was becoming a good guy so that made her even more upset. She had to justify in her mind that she was doing the
right thing in leaving Charlie for her new man. Something was about to break as this marriage setup cannot continue much longer.
Then one day Charlie had to get up early to do some preparation at his home office for the class he was teaching and his wife was just coming in about 5 am from being
out all night. She told him that she had spent time with another guy just having coffee. Charlie knew that the end was close now. A session with a marriage counsellor
was arranged and when the counsellor asked his wife what keeps them together as they had nothing in common at this point. Her reply was "money" kept them together.
Well poor Charlie flipped out in his mind at this point finalizing the fact that his marriage was truly over and that he had better stash some cash away while he could.
Charlie said that he only had about $300 put away when the poo poo hit the fan. I kind of had a thought that came to mind as to why they would stay together and that
is that no one wanted the kids. Well, I hope that was not in their minds at all. Charlie entered the dark bedroom where his wife lay one night to have a talk. Charlie
said the room was so heavy with darkness that you could cut it with scissors that night. Charlie would buy out her half of the house and keep the sons while his wife
would go and find her own place to live and then they would have joint custody. The older son was about to turn 18 and he was quite willing to go on his own at this
point. Both sons were very devastated that their parents were splitting up. They received mix reactions from all their friends as well. Charlie says when a couple
splits up, it divides the family and friends. Some take sides and some totally withdraw from having anything to do with the former couple. It seems that at this
point, you are best to focus on seeking out new friends and rebuild your life with them. Charlie was also quite devastated as his dream to get married and live
happily ever after was destroyed. Now Charlie said that he just wanted to live happily ever after, but alone this time. His wife left and lived with a lady from her
work until the divorce was all settled. When women head to divorceland, they typically want to leave their old nests and build new and fresh elsewhere.
It was time for Charlie to wind down the relationship so his wife could move on to her soulmate and Charlie could be free to figure out where he would go and to
rebuild and see where life would take him next. Charlie found that when he sat down for awhile as he got up, he would ache for around ten steps and then he would
be okay. Once his wife left, Charlie's pain disappeared immediately. Charlie was amazed that stress had been the source of it all. "Where do we go from here
Charlie?" I asked. So now what was Charlie to do as he starts to enjoy his new freedom. Charlie had a house that was paid off, but now he had a mortgage put on it
to have paid out his ex. Charlie then thought about should he find a nice young gal in her late twenties, thirties or go for someone like him in his early forties.
Charlie wasn't sure. He had never been with anyone else so that would be a new experience to kind of go back to the early years of the dating that he never really
did. Charlie said that one thing he would do would be go out with other women and see why their marriages had failed and to learn as much as he could plus he would
be studying books on the subject to learn as much as he could. I kept some note paper handy as I awaited for the next call or coffee time to see where life would
go next for him. I had a gut feeling that life was going to open up and somehow karma would favor Charlie in a big way for staying the course through it all.
Perhaps the man upstairs would give Charlie a break in life as well. Time will tell as it always does.
Marriage counsellors and the books written will tell you not to date for 2 years after your split. Then some say to add an extra year to every 4 years that you have
been married on top of that. Maybe some of the thoughts are that you may get back together during that time apart and perhaps the likely idea is that you need time
to be by yourself to heal. What you don't want is to quickly jump into a new relationship only to find out that it doesn't work out either. That is called rebound.
Some people just cannot be alone and Charlie said he saw many a lady with a "separated" status on dating websites.
The Five Year Assignment
Charlie's Wife Finds Her Soulmate
Fast Forwarding For a Minute to Answer that Question
Married Life Comes to a Close
Charlie knew that he would never go back like he naively did with the first affair. He recalls seeing his wife prettying herself up for someone else as he
starts to recall over the last few months. Charlie was also thinking about how the lovemaking went down the toilet except for a certain time of the month,
Charlie's wife would come after him for some attention. Charlie was marking the month cycle on the calendar and then in his own revengeful way, decided to
keep very busy or be too tired for that as he gave up his only time that month to enjoy some lovemaking. Charlie was smart, but he was very frustrated with having
invested so much into the marriage and have it finally go down the poop chute. So Charlie's advice to the single guys is that if you stay around with your gal long
enough and treat her well, she will likely pull you into her den for some intense lovemaking. And why would this be? Well, Charlie shares the fact that women tend to
go in heat once a month close to their time of the month so if you hang around, you might just be pleasantly surprised. That Charlie is a sly fox at times. Hmmm...
that was interesting to note. I was there for Charlie when he went through this trama. I think that the marriage had lasted close to 25 years in spite of all that
had happened during that time. I told Charlie I read that female monkeys mate for life so go find a female monkey next time that likes you. Charlie gave me that look
of yeah, right.
Winding Down the Marriage Forever and Where Do We Go From Here?
The Two Year Time Out Wait!
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